I'm really bad at titles.

There's a movie my aunt recommended to me a long time ago called Once. I LOVED IT. It was a very quiet, normal, not at all exciting love story that was also a musical. A very modern musical, no sweeping scenes with animals joining in, just acoustic guitars and pianos and two people singing about the ordinary process of dealing with heartache and moving on toward each other. Simple, elegant, touching. 

Allen has described it as the most boring  movie on the planet, but in more colorful language. 

He's not necessarily wrong. There's no turmoil, no obstacles, just people being people. 

I greatly enjoy movies like that. Where people are just being themselves, and there's no bizarre Hollywood construct of how people behave in "the world". 

I started watching Happy Christmas this afternoon while Derek was  home for lunch, and as he was leaving, he said, "This is the most fucking boring movie. Nothing is happening. Nobody cares."I laughed and told him to shut up. 

I ended up truly enjoying the movie. And nothing happened. It was just an hour and a half of watching people do stuff and fuck up. 

Allen and Derek deserve each other. I don't mind watching my movies alone. 

I hope to one day be the incredibly eccentric aunt that everybody loves, and also gossips wildly about. I want to wear big, floppy hats, and dress like a fabulously fancy bee keeper. and spends days in my garden with a billion cats to keep me company. 

I'm going home in three days. I'm so fucking excited!!!! Knowing I'm going home has kept me from finding gainful employment, and while it's been somewhat nice to just relax, it's also been driving me crazy to have nothing to do. My house is immaculate, so I can't even occupy my day cleaning. I put everything together weeks ago. 

So, having nothing to do, knowing nowhere to go, and without a canvas and paints, how does this girl occupy her time?

I cook.

Derek brought me a box...a BOX...of pears from his time in the field. I didn't know what to do with it. I've given half of it to my neighbor's kids. They're very friendly with me, particularly considering they're teenagers. 

That still left me with, very literally, ten pounds of fucking pears. 

I found a bunch of recipes for pears. They all sounded delicious, but I also have a very limited window to use up all of these pears. And besides, who wants to eat fucking pears for every god damn meal? Ugh. The thought alone makes me want to vomit. Which is an extreme reaction, considering I'm emetophobic. Derek and I have been doing this running campaign line for something we adore. Sushi for every meal, 2016! Beef and Broccoli for every meal, 2016! Jamaica every day, 2016! Things like that. Pears for every fucking meal, 2016 just doesn't sound appealing to me. It also doesn't have the same ring to it as sushi. Anyway, I don't have a week at my disposal to use the rest of these pears morning, noon, and night, so I wondered how I could use them all up at once. 

The answer?

JAM, mother fuckers. 

Well, initially jelly. I wanted to make jelly. But then I didn't want to bother with pectin, because I've read that it can be difficult to work with. Ok, once. I read that once. OK FINE, I read it on a blog the day I decided I'd make jelly. So, Tuesday. Anyway, I wound up forgetting pectin at the store, anyway, so jam it was. 

I peeled and cored and sliced up pear after pear after pear and if I did this for how many pears I sliced up, we'd have another eleven pounds to get through. It took HOURS. I listened to music, and sang, and peeled pear after fucking pear. UGH. It was exhausting. I filled a ten quart boiler with pears, and then spiced it and put in less sugar than it needed, and three hours later, I had a deliciously fragrant vat of spiced pear preserves. I thought, anyway. What I ACTUALLY have is a shitload of pear butter. My grandfather taught me how to make apple butter when I was younger. It was something that he loved immensely, and he taught me how to make it. I love apples, and the fact that I'm allergic to them is almost criminal. My pear butter is a very spicy variation on the apple butter I learned how to make when I was just a little chick. That's what my grandfather called me. 

It's delicious. 

I've been putting it on my chocolate chip coconut banana pumpkin bread. Which is a lot of flavors, I know, but it's really yummy. 

I'm bringing the second loaf of that home with me, and also a jar or twelve of pear butter. Spiced pear preserves. Whatever I jarred that had pears in it. 

It's about time for me to go on a run. Derek has his Christmas party tonight. Clearly I'm not going, because I don't want to. Derek won't be there for very long, and then we have to go to the store when he's done, and all kinds of normal errands, 

A friend of mine passed away two days ago. I haven't really known what to say about it. I suppose that will suffice.